Musings: High School Insecurities

2:46 PM

I've never had perfect skin...

And I completely thank my lucky stars that I've never had real acne. I've always had pimples and some minor sports acne, but nothing that made me insecure or really care.

Well, here we are at 34 and I'm feeling insecure as ever.

The skin on my face has been freaking out for about the last eight to ten weeks or so, give or take a couple weeks.
I cannot figure out what it is. I haven't changed anything that could irritate my skin -- no new detergents, soaps, shower stuff, perfume, make-up, face wash, or ANYTHING!

At the highest point of irritation, both of my cheeks were completely covered in inflamed red bumps. It was itchy, really bumpy, and had dry patches scattered throughout my face soon after the bumps went down. They weren't pimples or white heads, but they had texture and were red and blotchy. My worst nightmare (slight exaggeration)....

Having this reaction to something was crappy, but how insecure it made me feel was worse. You'd think I would have covered it all up with make-up and been okay. I would do that for any event or where I knew pictures would be taken, but other than that I didn't cover it up. I thought I'd let my skin breathe, even though I was really insecure about it.

I was using Aquaphor, which is my usual go to, but I'm not sure if it was helping or not. It seemed to help with the really rough and dry patches, but I think it was also clogging the pores too. This is my usual, preferred solution to most skin issues -- but this wasn't working.

I was trying to problem solve (but waited awhile, probably too long), so I text Sarah/Skin Ninja to talk it through with her. I was worried if I got a facial it might exacerbate the situation. I eventually made an appointment to get facial to see if a good cleanse would help it. I went in and she did a facial according to what my skin needed. It helped a lot, but it took me awhile to get there and I should have went in sooner.

My skin felt better. But it still had the dry patches and was itchy, more often than not. It had the occasional issue, but it wasn't covering my face. Awhile after, I decided to try the Halotherapy session, which was supposed to be good for your skin. I think this also had a good effect on my skin too, but it didn't get rid of the problem. It helped though.
I decided take my friend/co-workers advice and tried Rose Hip Oil, which I purchased at the Sac Co-Op. It was at least $4 cheaper on Amazon :( I guess supporting local is better, right? She suggested I get 100%, but the Co-Op didn't have that and I wanted to try it right away. It suggests you try it on your elbow before you use it anywhere else, but I didn't. I went straight for it. And for all intents and purposes, I slathered it all over my face and neck. Well, by slather, I mean patted it -- as I read to do and as my co-worker suggested. Slathering will clog the pores, patting won't.
Aura Cacia Organic Natural Skin Care, Restoring Rosehip Oil with Vitamin E, 1 Fluid Ounce
I have no clue if I can attribute the clearing of my skin to this, but I think it helped. I've been using it every single day since I purchased it. I refrigerate it, per their instructions, which means after each shower I have to walk down stairs to the kitchen to retrieve it. They want you to put it on damp skin, so I have to do it right after my shower. It's worth the annoyance, though.

So now, it's pretty much gone away (still have some issues or flare ups), but the insecurity hasn't. I still keep thinking it will pop up again any day now. I've recently dealt with a dry patch on my chin, but that's about it within the last two weeks.

Thank goodness for those awesome apps that can help give you a clear complexion, when that is not reality. But be careful ladies (or gents), don't make it look too fake and dreamy, people will notice the touch-up. I won't ever sit here and try to pretend that I don't use my Camera360 app on most pics, to clear up my skin. That's my app of choice, but I'm open to learning about more ;)
Not knowing the trigger was the hardest part. No new soaps, no new foods. What the hell was it? I thought maybe it was the freeze spray from my Cyst removal, but I had the skin irritations prior to that. Weather? Diet? Hormones?

I still have no clue, which is why the insecurity hasn't resided. Since I have no culprit, I cannot avoid it happening again. It wasn't just a one week reaction, it lasted for a long time. Maybe the Rose Hip oil is doing its thang and I won't have to worry, but I just don't know.

Insecurities don't care about age!
  

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4 comments

  1. I can totally relate this...I was hoping my acne would go away as I got older but it continues to have good and bad days. I go to the Acne and Skin clinic and one thing that my esthetician suggests to watch is dairy, sugar and caffeine as nutrition (and stress) can be the main cause of it.

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    1. Hi! My esthetician has also mentioned to limit those things as well and she offered me a three day diet focused on cleansing the skin through your diet. I've yet to try it, but it seems pretty easy. I just can't take clear skin for granted anymore. xoxo, ganeeban

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  2. Omg... The first time I had a sudden burst of acne was due to pregnancy...Even the pregnancy test told me that I was absolutely not pregnant. Wrong! Luckily eventually the acne went away. Now I only clean my face with rubbing alcohol and I have been acne free ever since. Good luck! You're beautiful no matter what

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    1. Hi! Oh man, that doesn't sound fun at all. You use rubbing alcohol? Wow, I'd be too scared that would be worse for my sensitive skin. Glad it seems to work for you and glad it went away. And thank you for your kind words! xoxo, ganeeban

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