Co-Dependency

3:01 PM

Comes in all forms.
Via
The Lent struggle has been real. I'm sure most people reserve codependency for another human or humans. In my case, my enabler is also actual culprit - the foods that enable me to a lesser woman. I am not mocking this word or situation, in the slightest.

Just to see if I was using the word correctly, I went to the Intranets and went to the all know-er source of Wikipedia for the following definition:

Codependency: Codependent relationships are a type of dysfunctional helping relationship where one person supports or enables another person's addiction, poor mental health, immaturity, irresponsibility, or under-achievement.

Just as a refresher, since it was about 40 days ago I gave up said items, I gave up the following:
  1. Chips
  2. Fries
  3. Soda
And intended to work on the following things:
  1. No drinking on weekdays - Monday through Friday (duh)
  2. Give more compliments
That being said, my "relationship addiction" with these three food/drink items became very evident when I was to go cold turkey without them for 46 days. [Should be noted, I've cheated approximately 4 times] The crunch, the fried goodness, and the carbonation bubbly are enablers. Those physical sensations give way to euphoria of a foodgasm. They enable me to feel better as instantly as they are consumed, albeit cathartic not too shortly thereafter.

A burger doesn't taste right without french fries. A sandwich without chips is just plain weird. Soda, after a race or with pizza, just go hand in hand.

I never knew I had a codependent relationship with these things. I thought I just really, really liked them. I didn't realize that near the end of my 46 days I'd be pretty upset that I can't have any of them and contemplating cheating on my Lenten promise. I am salivating at the thought of Easter (Sunday), where I know I can stuff my face full of chips, washed down with some Wild Cherry Pepsi. I have even offered to host a "post Lent" party for the girls so we can all indulge in whatever we gave up for the Lenten season.

This seems ludicrous that these foods have taken up so much mental space during these 40ish days. Each time J, fam, or friends order said foods and I cannot partake there is a tinge of hatred jealousy at their plate of goodness. As I stare down at mine, it just seems hopeless. I've tried substitutes, but onion rings and veggie sticks, just don't cut it. They aren't the real thing, but they do give me that guilty feeling since I was trying to find substitutes.

Our relationship goes back so far, our history is undeniable. This relationship has been going on for years, although I know better. Something about the feeling they give when consumed, has me coming back for more. I don't remember my first chip, french fry, or swig of soda, but I know it had to be love at first bite/gulp. I like sweets, but salty has my heart, always!

Alcohol hasn't been so hard to give up and work on. However, I will admit, I really miss it on Friday nights. It's always nice to unwind with a glass of wine with diner, or two...or five ;) Sadly, I've also not done so well with working on giving more compliments to those around me. I've done it a little bit, but I didn't put in work to try harder at it. So although Lent ends on Sunday, I will still continue to try to do this more often.

Just so there is no confusion about what I am writing, I am not mocking Lent or Easter. I am simply recapping, if you will, my Lenten learning's about myself. What I once though were just silly cravings, are really a codependency on unhealthy foods that give me an immediate food high, but leave me wanting for more. The addiction seems real...
Via // I'm sure some friend wish I would ;)
Via // Just because it was so funny!
This post was written in an attempt to avoid running to the vending machine for Doritos!

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4 comments

  1. Giving up anything you love or crave can be really difficult. I always think that if you change one addiction it will lead to another. I have tried to cut out sugar and sweets so many times in my life, and ultimately it consumes me. Now I have the mindset that sugar is OK in moderation - depriving myself only makes me want it more. At least you are learning things about yourself through this process. Lent is there for many reasons, one being to learn and understand ourselves better.

    Hey, at least you are honest too. That's important.

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    Replies
    1. Seriously. I'm slowing learning that cutting this out completely does me no good! Moderation...is truly the key, as cliche as it sounds. Thanks for keeping me positive! xoxo, ganeeban

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  2. Sounds like you did a good job! Progress not perfection. Also it's important to take a closer look at our relationship with things - and set some boundaries, just as we would with people. It's ok to indulge every once in a while, just not every day. Sounds like you've learned a lot this lent and will probably take it with you once it's over! Kudos!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I really like that, progress not perfection. Trying to keep my relationships level headed, but sometimes my will power is not so strong. I did learn a lot, more than I thought I would. xoxo, ganeeban

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