Thinking Out Loud - The Love Edition

10:19 AM

T-minus 2 days to lovah's day, y'all!

I definitely am, and always have been, a huge proponent of Valentine's Day. I think celebrating love is an amazing thing. Yes, it is very over commercialized. Yes, I love being sent flowers. Yes, chocolate tastes good. Yes, a fancy dinner with your boo thang is lovely.

But I was also single for about 9 Valentine's Day's in a row. I still loved the day. I didn't have anyone sending me flowers or sweet love notes, but I still loved watching everyone else celebrate the love they had in their lives. Two years ago my parents did the most thoughtful thing EVER, they sent their single daughter flowers at work. I was floored, they are so thoughtful, it's a hard bar for me to reach for when I have children.

I love love, that's pretty much it. No matter if I'm single or dating someone. I'm always a sucker for a romantic comedy or a good love story. I guess that's the girly side of me.

This year, for reason's that I'd rather not get into, I had not planned on celebrating with J. Yes, you read that right. I was stubborn and adamant that I would not spend the day with him. Up until recently, I didn't feel he deserved my time and attention on this special day. Again, this leads back to events of last year, which I'd rather not divulge to the world via my blog. Let's just say it left a bad taste in my mouth and I was hurt. I was unwavering in my ideals of spending the day with myself  - I have a 20 mile run, a facial, and am supposed to meet up with the Guidette for drinks.

Try explaining this to people. Everyone stares at me in disbelief when I told them we don't have plans. I don't ever say why, that wouldn't be fair to my relationship. I just skirt around the topic and hope it goes away.

It lead me to thinking about "forgiveness," which I've had to do plenty of over the past year. I never thought forgiving would be so hard. I have never actually had to forgive anyone, like truly forgive them for hurting me....until now.

J and I started reading The Five Love Languages and we got through the first language - Words of Affirmation. It reaffirmed what I'd already been thinking. That I need to forgive and let the past be history. So, although it's two short days away from Lover's Day, I will make an attempt to share some of the day with him. I don't expect us to go all out, but I am going to take my stubborn roots and shove them deep down inside me and remember that the past is history.  I will remember this excerpt from the book:

"Forgiveness is not a feeling; it is a commitment. It is a choice to show mercy, not to hold the offense up against the offender. Forgiveness is an expression of love."

On a lighter note, let's focus on some other LOVEly things:

A Love Note to Yourself: I don't want to spoil an upcoming collab and post, but just know that I was asked to write myself a love letter in the spirit of Valentine's Day, by Maria. Holy shit, it was hard. A lot harder than I ever thought it would be. But it was also the most rewarding feeling after I hit send, but still slightly frightening. Thoughts that ran through my head - Is it too dumb? Will people think I'm narcissistic? Should I have written less? Stay tuned, you will see it soon!

Spoil Yourself: It's okay to spoil yourself on Valentine's day - single or taken. We'll at least I think so and am a total proponent of it :) So, even though it was due to a scheduling conflict, I will be pampering myself with a way over due facial! Oh and I just treated myself to a supposed secret sale on!

Notes From a Girl: Not that any boys read this, but here it is - all we want is some extra love and affection this day. You don't need to go broke trying to outdo yourself. Well, at least the majority of us girls feel that way, I think. A handwritten note that is genuine, is something that we'd treasure way more than a dozen overpriced roses. Take us on a new experience or an adventure that we will forever remember, instead of an over-priced pre-fix dinner. There are so many small gestures for this day that don't require depleting your bank account. Get creative and be genuine, that's all that (most) of us girls want. I can't really speak for the other type who want you to go broke, sorry boys!

Don't Forget Everyone Else: Spread the love to your family and friends. Also, for your single friends, tread delicately. Everyone is different and may not respond well to you reaching out. But take the time to remind those near and dear to you, how much you love and appreciate them. It may be out of your comfort zone to do so, but everyone loves to hear it from a loved one now and then, especially if you don't ever say it.

Random Things I'm Loving Right At This Moment:
  • The new Nike Flyknit Lunar 3's that I cannot seem to buy, because everyone else is swooping them up! I'm in the market for some new trainers and these ones look like the winners...

  • SF Giants Pitcher's and Catcher's report in 6 days! Baseball season here we come!
  • Three day weekend coming up - also while it being Valentine's day and our first anniversary. Lucky timing for US!
  • Trader Joe's Mediterranean Hummus to-go packs. Over priced but amazingly convenient and delish snack, add some carrots and I'm golden!
  • Bringing the Wench dinner when her Hubs is traveling for work, and indulging in trashy TV and her telling me all the drama!
  • #20BeautifulWomen the hash tag going around that supports and empowers women. I love that women are posting a picture, generally a selfie, and tagging 20 additional women. I take it as 20 women who are strong and beautiful friends. I'm not sure if that's the intent, but that's how I took it and went with it. I think we need to empower women more, not put each other down. I'm not perfect at it, but I will work toward being better at lifting them up, instead of putting them down
  • Jamba Juice Acai Primo bowl, thanks to 8 Groupon vouchers for them! I love treating myself to one every once in awhile. I dialed yesterday's lunch down a bit and added the bowl to round out my lunch. It was perfect!

Let a Lover, LOVE!

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  1. Good on ya for letting go of [some of] the grudge, girl. Forgiveness can be super difficult, but it's also super freeing. That kind of negative energy takes a lot out of us (even if we don't realize it), so letting it go is the best way to go. I hope you have a wonderful day celebrating love :)

    1. Hi Amanda! Thanks, I appreciate your kind words. I know the way I should be, getting there is just a little tougher. Hope you have a lovely weekend! xoxo, ganeeban


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