Thinking Out Loud - Cohabitation

1:14 PM

Sounds like something scientific, right?!


Or maybe I'm just weird. Although there are some serious dynamics that go into cohabitation, they are more so on the emotional and logistical level, not so scientific.

Like many things, I’ve always had a predetermined idea about when this would be appropriate. But as I’m learning, each situation is different and you just need to go with the flow. In my mind, a year at the very minimum should be when this should be discussed, not done. However, here we are, 10 months into it and we’ve decided to make the jump.

My excitement outweighs my hesitation. My hesitation has more to do with the fact that I’ve never lived with someone that I was in a relationship with before. Poor J, there are going to be some learning curves. But I’m confident that we will get through them and all will be good. But it’s out there and I know I will have to do my share of “giving and taking” at times. But I can’t be anything but happy and giddy, as I sit here and write this.

Yes, I’ve lived with guys (not really men, because we were in college) before. 2 of the 3 were friends way before college and the 3rd was a friend/teammate of theirs. Some gawk at the idea of living with guys (and being the only girl), but it worked. Two of them were super clean freaks and the 3rd one was NOT, but it always worked out. The rent was cheap and they let me have the biggest room (re: biggest closet in the house)! I actually enjoyed living with them and there were never any issues (re: drama).

That being said, I was not romantically involved with any of them so the dynamics were completely different. J and I have been pseudo living together if you will. We spend most nights cramped in a bedroom at my place or his. It’s worked out great and we are content, but sometimes timing is everything. Yes, I know what you are thinking. Playing house is completely different than actually living it, and trust me, I understand that! There were a lot of dynamics that went into this decision, but we both know we are ready for it.

I don’t think we could talk about finances, bills, chores, or expectations any more. We’ve even predicted what annoyances we will have with one another, as to try to avoid them or keep them at bay as long as possible. I think we’ve prepared ourselves as best as we can and will have to trust that it will all workout!

The good news is, my move won’t be too far. Literally right next door! Peace out gross roommate who can’t keep the kitchen clean for the life of her and hello (measly attempt at) interior decorating and having our own space.

When this first came up in discussion I was hesitant, but at ease…if that makes any sense. I wanted to do it, but was also realistic that this is a huge step in a relationship. One that I’ve never taken. So many questions swirled in my head – Are we ready for this? Is this too soon? What happens if we break up? How will L take this move? Can we afford it? The questions are still there, but most (if not all) have answers to them now. That has been one of the key factors in our decision to live together. Complete openness about hesitations, questions, and expectations. I don’t think it will/would work any other way.

As a first time cohabitant it was important that I understood “we are not just going to live together, but we are choosing to share our lives together.” This didn’t scare me one bit, it just made complete sense. When you each have your own place, you always have a place of refuge if necessary. That sanctuary is gone when you live together. It wasn’t that I didn’t think of it like that necessarily, it was just that I didn’t take the time to look at it as a step forward in a relationship. I’d always looked at it as something logical, rather than seeing it as something more emotional, like sharing our lives, our space, and our time together.

Maybe it isn’t a big deal to some, but as a newbie to this lifestyle…it’s a pretty big decision. Oddly, a decision that came very easily. We have our bearings and are working through the logistics of the move. Luckily, both of us have the luxury of not being in a time crunch to exit our current place. Although our bank accounts are taking hits, it’s all worth the sacrifice.

Yesterday, we signed the lease and got our keys! I’m not sure if we were more excited about that or the SF Giants winning game 4 of the NLCS (making the series 3-1 in favor of the Gigantes)! All in all, yesterday was a great day and I’m ready, willing, and excited for what is to come…
Our first picture USie in our new home! (PS-Def not my fave pic)
Our mini celebration and some SF Giants game @ BJ's
There’s a first time for everything!

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  1. That is really exciting!! Cohabitation is always an adjustment, but it comes with a lot of rewards. Enjoy the transition!!!

    1. Thanks! It is exciting, I appreciate your sweet message! xoxo, ganeeban

  2. there are little things in life that make a big difference. the tone in your post makes you seem overly hesitant, but also willing to accept the good w/ the bad. as long as you do your part... as long as you are respectful of "J's" space, and as long as you do your womanly duties, (and he his manly duties) things should work out fine. Good luck in your new challenge and don't forget to laugh

    1. Thanks for the note! I'm not sure I really agree with or understand "womanly duties" per se, but we can agree to disagree. I appreciate the vote of confidence and I am truly excited... xoxo, ganeeban


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