Runner’s Guilt…

11:27 AM

Is that even a thing?

The look guilty to me ;)

I’m an all-in type of gal. AND my training isn’t going this way…which could possibly be why I’m struggling with my current half marathon training. If you are anything like me, you live and die by that little thing called a “training schedule”! Seriously, I’m fairly religious with that thing, missing dinners/parties/events to make sure I get my (long) mileage/tempo/speed workout in.

After CIM, I was ready to run. I did a 10 miler, but knew it was too early to start HM training (so soon after a marathon), but I wanted to see how it would feel. That’s normal, right? Then I got sick! So my original plan to start training at the end of December, was pushed off until the first week of January. No biggie right, well kinda. My training schedule has me running from the first week of December. So it’ already started off bad. But I forgave myself because I just ran a dang marathon!

For some reason, I just can’t get super serious about this training program? Is it just me or does this happen to anyone else? I know how essential a training program is for my body, my race, and my mental health – but I’m lagging. For being a so-called “all-in” type of gal, I am not living up to this self prescribed title.

Yes, the plus side is I’m making sure to enjoy life and all the fun things that happen in it. In turn, I also feel completely guilty when I miss a scheduled workout. I don’t feel as bad when I move things around, switch days and whatnot, but when I just don’t do it, I feel awful. I don’t have anyone to blame but myself. I know putting this pressure on myself isn’t the best, but I can’t get away from it. I think the mixture of missing my Sunday 13 miler and my speed workout, my guilt is at an all time high :(

I tried my hardest to do my speed workout last night. Granted, one might argue that I should have just done it outside and it would have worked out properly. But instead, I decided to hit the gym. For some reason, I am slightly addicted to seeing those numbers on the tready. I have yet to figure out Mr. Garmin, so I can’t set the intervals properly. With a tready, I can adjust to however I’m feeling that day or what I think I should be running, speed wise. However, these “Resolutioners” were out in hoards last night. Every treadmill was taken and I was fourth in line. I didn’t have time to wait around to do a speed workout, so I sadly sauntered over to an elliptical.

I feel like I cheated...

I felt cheated and defeated. I did a 45 minute interval workout, with a fairly steep incline and moderate resistance. Here’s the silly, random workout I did. Extra plus side note, if I decide to do the Kinckerbocker 30K, this would work out will benefit my stems for that race. So yesterday was a cross training day, no speed!

Decent pace, but still not running!

20 Minutes @ 1 min Incline 15, Resistance 8  - 1 min Incline 10, Resistance 12

10 Minutes @ 1 min Incline 15, Resistance 10 – 1 min Incline 10, Resistance 15

10 Minutes @ 1 min Incline 15, Resistance 8 - 1 min Incline 10, Resistance 12

5 Minutes @ 1 min Incline 15, Resistance 6 – 1 min Incline 10, Resistance 8

I definitely walked away sweaty, but still defeated! This is where I question my running brain and runner’s guilt. I should be happy I just cross trained, burned calories, and worked out. But why wasn’t I satisfied with that. Because, I live by that schedule. I feel inferior when I don’t abide by what is listed in those little squares. I recognize it is not the healthiest way to think like that, in any way, but it happens.

I was glad I was able to get in a good, faster paced run this AM with #9run6. I was running at HM pace, which I barely ever do on runs. That’s just not how I train. My knees can’t take it, nor can my wimpy lungs. But for some reason, on race day I can do it! I’ll never understand running…

5.06 miles with the #9run6 crew!

Runner’s guilt, it’s real out here…

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  1. The elliptical workout could totally count for your hills/intervals day. I swap things out all the time. Hiking a few hours replaces an hour or two of easy running. All exercise you do counts towards your race, not just the running miles. I've had friends that were injured during half marathon training and did almost all their workouts on elliptical or a bike and they did fine at the race. I guess what I'm saying is you're really over-thinking things.

    1. HI Karen! Thanks. The rational part of me knows and understands exactly what you are saying. The irrational part of me, takes over and makes me be super OCD. I can re-run a missed workout, so I'm trying to just go with the punches!

  2. I completely understand what you mean about guilt and keeping up with a training schedule. This is one of the reasons that I follow a schedule, but allow for a lot of flexibility if need be. I find that I enjoy the process of training and running more if I cut myself a little slack. When things are too structured, I start to resent what I am doing. Don't beat yourself up if you choose the elliptical one evening or choose to push your long run back by a day or two. Your body and mind probably appreciate it! :)

    1. Hi Kristen! Whew, it's nice to know I'm not the only one. I just need to remember to remember (haha) that my schedule should be flexible, no one wants to resent what they are supposed to enjoy! Thanks for reading :)


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